OMG babycakes. OMG. Like whoa (yes Joey Lawrence style). So it’s Monday, right? Monday’s normally suck because they are all Mondayish. But not this Monday and do you want to know why? Because I’ve had another run in with Baby Daddy!! (If you’ve not read by blog before, shame on you, and it’s not my baby daddy, because I have no babies. It’s a dude who, in front of his pregnant girlfriend, asked me out).
Ok, so where I work is hiring. Cool beans, I like new faces and training newbies, it’s always fun. Well I’m doing my reports, getting my regular Monday stuff set up and watching the parade of new hires when I hear my name. Holy SHIT! It’s Baby Daddy. He’s a new hire. Fuck me sideways. Until he doesn’t make it through the new hire crap I have to see him EVERY DAY!!! NO!!!!! The good news is I don’t find the situation embarrassing, more hysterical! This is going to be so uncomfortable in that he’s going to say something stupid and I’m going to have to run away again and then I GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT!!! Babycakes, how can you ever doubt my love for you when I share this kind of stuff? Oh also! I have a date tomorrow. I’m sure it will be story worthy!! And I can’t wait to share it with you! (Also, in case you can’t tell I’ve had A LOT of coffee, hence all the exclamation points!!!!!)
Oh, to be fair, I should tell you about the amazing girl date I had this weekend. OMG, so good. Ok, so I went out with my bestie Red, who writes this amazing blog- read it: http://breakingbreadwithred.wordpress.com/
I love her so much, know why? Dates with her are always fun. She invited me to go to a fancy foreign artsy film about French hookers. Hookers? Like the sexy kind? I’m in!! So, I went to go pick her up and we both dressed up and put on makeup and looked super hot *wink* and then we got to see this movie, have brie and apples, and then hang out at a hipster bar drooling over amazing beards! (OMG so many lovely, manly, sexy beards! Also, I think I was the only one doing the drooling, but whatevs). And the best part? She wasn’t late, she didn’t stare uncomfortably at my boobs, she was (is) hilarious, she smelled nice, and she doesn’t give two fucks about what anyone thinks. Which means we spent the entire time snortling and drinking. Also, random bartender story? She’s a classy gal so at the bar she asks for Scotch, and the bartenders were like, “WHAT? A chick asking for Scotch in a place where everyone drinks PBR? AGH!!!” Then they ran around like chickens with their head’s cut off because they didn’t know what to do. Awesome.
So if any of my readers are single dudes who want to ask me out- be funny, have a beard, drink Scotch, and make me snortle. I will love you forever. Well at least for that first date.