Oh babycakes. So I’m sure you’re aware of the fact that I went on an awesome 13 hour date. Good news? I’ve been in contact with the dude since the date (woo!!!) and he wants to plan a second date (OMG I’M SO EXCITED). Here’s the bad news, or possible bad news. He doesn’t have a job. Right, was there an awkward pause? Because that’s how I feel. Now, here is the sitch, I had a long term boyfriend…I’m not going to name any names, who was also unemployed for a year or so in the course of our relationship. Well, it kind of fell to me to buy stuff if we ever wanted to go out, to replace his socks, etc. And you know what? I ended up hating him for it. And because I was young and stupid, I didn’t tell him outright. I hinted at it, when really I should have been all, “Look buddy, I love you, but I’m not about to be your sugar momma. If that’s the deal we’re looking at, I’m gonna need you to take out the trash, wash the dishes, have a hot dinner waiting for me when I get home, and rub my damn feet.” But like I said, I was an idiot and didn’t do this. Instead I let it fester and simmer and then it boiled over and was part of the reason for the break up many years later. So. Now I’m all concerned that
A.) I’m all sorts of jaded and I’m not going to give this dude a fair shot,
B.) I’m going to fall into the same trap, because sometimes I still act like a 15 year old girl with her first crush,
C.) I’m not going to make myself clear about how against mooching I am and I will end up hating what appears to be a decent dude.
So once again, I’m just vomiting words onto paper to hopefully sort out what is going on in my brain.
Can you tell I like to make lists? Lists are a huge part of my life; to do lists, shopping lists, pros and cons lists, lists of lists *bliss*.
And I mean the biggest worry I have (look at me working like one date in, ugh biological clock, I HATE YOU!) is he doesn’t seem super motivated on that whole finding a job thing….
Also, there may be one other issue. Obviously I’m not just dating for the stories; that’s a happy side bene. I’m dating to find a partner, one that I can settle down, eventually have kids with, the whole shebang (babycakes, I know this is super heavy stuff for me to be talking about. What the fuck is going on? I have no idea. Maybe I’m going to start my period or something). And I don’t want to be the breadwinner!! Is that weird for me to say? But I’d really like, if I’m lucky enough to have kids, to stay home with them for a couple of years. For reals. Arg.