Oh darlings, I’m in a funk. Or I’m PMSing, which is basically the same thing. (I mean seriously now, who’s going to argue that?) I think it’s mostly because I’ve been working a fuck-ton and that always makes me kinda blah. I mean no big, it’s just the season, I’m supposed to be working this much, but holy shit am I tired. I think I actually went to bed at like 9:30 last night (I know, I’m such an old lady), but poodle, let me tell you it was glorious!! Not to mention I actually woke up with my alarm, which was a good thing. I guess. I mean I was able to shave my legs (for no damn reason) and put on my make-up. Woot. Anyhoo, I’m in a funk. Which means I don’t want to actively go out and get a date. Gah, fuck that shit right now. And for you, the all important reader, this means no fun stories. (Did I just hear someone break into sobs? I feel you, trust me, I feel you.)
Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re all, “Oh, she’s bummed over Slacker McSlackFace and his ‘break up’ text.” Ummm no. Sorry kiddos, 5 dates does not a relationship make and quite frankly anyone who gets that moody that quickly puts the kibosh on any affection I’m feeling at that point. Maybe that makes me a heartless bitch (which btw, I’m thinking of getting as my next tattoo. Thoughts? I mean, advertise the truth, right?) but I don’t care. I mean all 10 of you who read this blog know me, and know good and well that I don’t get bummed over dudes. Ok well, I was bummed after THE BREAKUP, but those were seriously extenuating circumstances. I mean I think anyone’d be bummed after 5 years, yeah? Personally I think a nice massage and 10 minutes in the tanning bed (Yes, I know it’s bad for me. So’s whiskey and cigarettes, but you don’t see me stopping those! But it makes me happy) so I think that’s what I will do this weekend. Oooo! I have a spa facial waiting on me too! I forgot about that (how much does that suck that I would forget about a spa treat?) and it’s already paid for! WIN! That kinda gets me out of my funk, but not to the point I want to get dressed up and sit through some lame ass first date conversation. Blah. Anyway I know I’m full of first world problems loves so don’t take my ranting too seriously, believe you me, I know how good I’ve got it!
Ok, so this is probably the most inappropriate blog to do this in, but I’ve got several friends out there (yes readers, shut your face holes, I have friends) who are recently engaged/soon to be married! I’m so very excited for them and want to wish them all the best!! (This is for serious, from the bottom of my heart, no bullshits). Love to you all!