I’m kinda done with dating

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I love Halloween. So much. I dress up almost every year! But not slutty, though maybe I will next year. This year my costume was a bit on the esoteric side (have you ever seen Firefly?) and I kinda looked like a lesbian funeral director. (Not knocking lesbians, I’m just saying, that’s what I looked like! Remember loves, I don’t give a fuck who you fuck.) Anyway, if the phrase “Two by two with hands of blue…” means anything, I was totes one of those guys. My friend The Slav was my partner in crime. We had this totally creepy in sync beer drinking thing going on and everything. It was a totally creepy, nerdy, awesomesauce win!!! But I digress…

I’m so tired. BTW, I wasn’t in a funk, I was actually PMSing so that’s good news. Well I guess, I mean it really depends on how you look at it. Anyway, this whole being tired has got me thinking…I’m going to take this blog in a new direction. Sit the fuck down! Don’t walk away yet, let’s see how this goes! It might be amazeballs! You don’t know, we just have to try!! Or do. Doesn’t Yoda say, “There is not try, only do or do not?” Well poodles, we’re gonna do it. Not IT, but try the new direction, you smutty minded love buckets!

Anyway this is what I’m thinking- I’m going to randomly brain vomit on you whenever something neat or awesome or shitty happens. Not necessarily associated with dating. Yeah I kinda do that anyway? So? What’re you gonna do? Ha. That’s what I thought.

But for serious, I’m really tired of mostly only writing about craptastic dates. And I’m kinda worried I’m going to jinx m’self by focusing on them so much. Dumb and superstitious? Probably. But I gotta watch out for these things. I’m old, I need someone to rub my feet and take out the trash. Anyway, I actually have some super awesome things going on (outside of my love life) so I’m going to write about those for a while. For example I’M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL! (yes I am singing the Billy Madison song in my head, aren’t you?) I’m so fucking excited/scared about it! Obvi I’m going to have to take night classes, but it’ll be so nice to be learning again! I’m going to be surrounded by 18 and 19 year olds, so I’m going have to fight the urge to punch people in the face, but I’m pretty sure I can resist…hopefully. Anyway!! Wooo!!! This is going to be amazing- get to bitch about homework and classes and professors and group projects again. Anyway, I have more brain vomit to spew at you, but I need to go buy some candy for the little shits that will show up asking for it.

For serious though, if you are going out, be safe!!

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