Ok I know I said I was done with dating. I am. I just happened to have a date today. He cancelled. *welp* but seriously, I am actually upset. So for all of my readers and friends out there, I’m going to use this post to bitch and moan and hopefully get rid of that awful feeling of wanting to cry when you have no good goddamn reason. In other words, don’t bother reading this. Right, so this guy and I had been talking and we had plans to meet. He cancelled about two hours ago. And (this is why I’m a bitch) I find out that another friend has gotten engaged. While I am truly happy for this person, part of me is asking, “What the fuck is wrong with me.” For anyone still reading this, please spare me the, “oh you’ll meet that person when you least expect it” platitudes. We all know its bull. I guess I had just never seriously considered that I may be alone. Obvi, I’m not a moron and I realize I have my friends and family, but that may be all I have. Which, in the grand scheme of things is an amazing and beautiful thing. I’m pretty sure that this whole sob story is just a combo of being on my period and quite frankly having a shitty few weeks at work. But I think it’s time for me to sit down and really think about what I am expecting for the future, since it looks like that whole kids and a husband thing may not be it. Can I be frank? It scares the fuck out of me, I’m fucking 29 years old and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Terrifying. Over the past two years, I’ve had to deal with quite a bit on my own. It’s been interesting to see what I can handle. I guess this is just the next step in that process. On the flip side, I now have a lot of spare time tomorrow that I can dedicate to filling out scholarship applications and picking my classes. I like the person I’ve become, and this is a new opportunity to fine tune that person; make her into someone I will love. On that note, I think it’s past time for me to delete my dating profile and start figuring some shit out. Pleasant dreams my dears.
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Oldies (but goodies)!