FIRST AND FOREMOST: HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY!!!!
Hey there babycakes. Its Monday, I’m feeling kinda down, but I have some stuff to share with you, so that’s what I’m going to do. Dammit. I’ve got readers who depend on their weeklyish dose of snark from me. Or at least horrible dating stories, I feel like the snark comes and goes.
GIRL DATES!! I had an amazing girl date with Red on Saturday. We went up to the bigish city like thing north of where we currently reside. It’s no Chicago, but it works in a pinch. I mean we weren’t really going up there for serious clothes shopping or anything, so it was all good. Here’s what we did:
– Had random conversation on the way up to SEPHORA!!! Seriously, we ended up talking about gun control and gun owner rights. Go fig? Red was a wealth of fascinating information about gun statistics. This is part of the reason I love her.
– But before we got to Sephora, we got lost in a parking lot. I blame GPS. She’s a funny lady and she’s not always right, but good luck getting her to admit that.
– We got lostish inside the mall that houses Sephora. Not that lost, but we really had to pee and finding a bathroom in a mall really is like finding a needle in a haystack, only worse because there are time constraints. Self imposed ones mind you, but seriously, at some point, I will just pee my pants.
– Went to Sephora and played with samples and got accosted by really, really, REALLY happy sales people. Don’t get me wrong, I like makeup. It’s pretty cool shit, but I have to wonder if exposure to perfume and makeup byproducts kind of fucks you up in the long-term…
– Good news: I got cheap ass, amazeballs mascara. Sephora brand is pretty much where it’s at. This is especially good since the last mascara I was using was like 3 years old. And starting to smell funky. Ick.
– Also, got a sweet clay masque. That was on my list, I found it, I used it, I like it. WIN.
– Got an adorable, wee-tiny bag for my shit and FREE SAMPLES!!! I love free samples. Except one of the samples smells like Ben Gay and Vick’s Vaporub had a super stinky kid and I’m supposed to put it on my hands. Ehh…I’m iffy on that one.
– Then we went to Penzy’s. Holy Spice Racks Batman. That place not only smells amazing, it has so many spices!!! Soooo many. I managed to only get 4, but wow. I wanted to buy one of everything. At least. But I’m really pleased with what I purchased:
– Toasted Ground Onion powder. OMG this smells so good. I want to just shake it into my mouth.
– Almond extract. I need to bake some Kentucky Butter Cake. Seriously. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/kentucky-butter-cake/detail.aspx
It is worth the calories.
– Some sort of traditional Russian spice blend. I need a pork shoulder to rub this stuff into. And then I need to roast some potatoes.
– Ground Chipotle Chilies. OMG. How have I been making chili without this? Just smelling it makes my mouth water. So that’s the plan this evening anyway. Chili. Which is good, because it’s freezing here. If I had balls they would be in my throat. Luckily my lady parts don’t try and hide. Anyway, I think I’m going to hop over to Red’s blog and make this: http://breakingbreadwithred.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/what-is-best-in-life/
– Then onto Trader Joe’s. I fucking love that place. My dog loves that place. I need that store in my life more regularly. Anyway I got various and sundry things including, but not limited to:
– Organic, all natural dog treats. Bells about shit herself. They are fantastic. (I’m assuming here, I’m not actually going to try her biscuits, unless I bake them m’self)
– Avocados. Yum. That is all.
– Wine- it’s cheap as shit and delicious.
– Dark Chocolate. YES!!!!
– But that’s not it! We then went to a local meat place and I got some salami. Red got some freaking bacon butter. I need to try it, so I’m going to find a way to finagle myself over to her house for some bread and butter. Maybe roses will work.
– Then (because we do girl dates right) we went to a brewery and had a beer. It was sooo good. But this brewery is in the middle of Butt Fuck Nowhere and I was king of concerned that Red was taking me to an industrial park to slaughter me. Not really, because I love her and she loves me, but a little bit.
– THEN (it just keeps going, right?) we grabbed Dunch. I say Dunch because it was a late lunch. And Linner sounds weird. We went to a restaurant in the basement of a building and had some delicious German food. And the waiter bought our beers. Because we’re sexy. Best Dunch ever.
– Then home again, home again, jiggity jig. And I was in bed by 10:30. I’m such a lame ass.
Well Saturday was obviously wonderful. Cut to Sunday. My loyal readers on here know that I’ve been on a couple of dates with a gentleman that I’m referring to as Mr. A. We had gone out this past Tuesday for skee-ball (which didn’t happen; the machines were broken) and dinner. He had said that he was super busy, but I mentioned I had free tickets to this independent movie thing on Sunday evening. He told me that he would get back to me if he was free or not. He seemed excited about it. I never heard from him. Le sigh. Up until then, I had been contacting him to see if he wanted to hang out, but he always seemed excited to spend time together and if he couldn’t make it, he would suggest another time. But it’s looking like the interest was one-sided. I’m trying to figure out how I feel about this. I’m obviously not heartbroken, since I wasn’t in love with him. Right now the emotions are ranging from disappointment to self-doubt. I think these are all legit feelings. I wish he had just told me if he wasn’t interested, it would have made me less disappointed. As for the self-doubt, well, it’s getting harder and harder to believe that I will find someone to date. Which is ok, it just boggles my mind sometimes, I think I’m a hell of a catch; most of the time anyway. It’s things like this that make it hard for me not to be bitter over The Breakup, but I do try really hard. And quite frankly, it’s not just Mr. A. I think part of me is still dealing with Granny’s death; which is to be expected. Luckily, I’ve got a buddy who’s starting a Yoga class and invited me to join, which I’m going to do. I’m really good at putting things in boxes so I don’t have to deal with them right away and then continuing to push them away because they are stressful. With any luck this Yoga stuff will help me with my stress management. I also need to get back to running. It’s been about a month and I can tell; my mood is much darker when I’m not getting regular exercise, but there’s that whole vicious cycle to deal with. The “why go work out, it doesn’t matter anyway?” nag is there in the back of my head. I’ve kicked her ass before and I’ll do it again, because fuck that nag right in the ear. It just sometimes takes a couple of days (or weeks) to work up the hatred for the nag. Sometimes I just want to listen to her. And I know those of you out there who study psychology will tell me that it’s a battle with depression and I should go see someone. Well dolls, I appreciate the caring, I really do, but I’ve done that route before too. Not my thing. I don’t want drugs. I’ve found the best thing for me is this. Letting the poison out; to anonymous readers, friends who read this, friends that I see regularly, this is what makes me better. I have to own the nag before I slice her. Heh heh heh just saying that makes me smile.
And here are the reasons I say fuck you nag:
– My friends love me and I love them. Seriously, I talk about it a lot, but that kind of love is awe-inspiring
– My dog needs lots of pets. LOTS OF PETS. It’s a true story and I’m going to pet the fuck out of my dog.
– I’m worth doing it for. I know this the majority of the time. I just need to be really selfish and be ok with it.
– Fuck yeah running. Seriously, it feels good.
– Negative Nancy is no fun. No offense to any Nancy’s out there, I’m not talking about you
– I’ve got another 60 years or so if I’m lucky, I need to make that shit count.
Well fuck kids, that last paragraph was very selfish and depressing. My suggestion? Just read the first paragraph about my date with Red. Its way more fun. If you do happen to read the whiny, woe-is-me paragraph, no worries love, I’m fine, just venting. And I suckered you into being my sounding board! Ha win for me!
Also, Dog Face loves you, she told me this morning.