Well kids, I’m officially up North in my hometown for a while; my mom made the very difficult decision to stop all treatment and go onto hospice care. First, that’s a tough choice. And part of me (which I know this is preemptive grieving process, perhaps?), just a teensy part of me, still wants her to fight, and is slightly angry that she isn’t. However I will say that minus that teensy part, I’m incredibly proud of her. And I respect her decision 110%, which is why I’m up here. I’ve opted to, with the help of family, be her caregiver and bring her home to receive her hospice care. DogFace and I are chillaxin’ at the homestead as I type this because I’m super creepy, hover around nonstop lady apparently. Seriously, I think she’s taking the morphine so she doesn’t have to see me staring at her all creepy like asking, “OMG DO YOU NEED ANYTHING” whilst wielding a washcloth and ice chips every time she moves. This is not an exaggeration loves, I swear to the intergalactic space octopus.
Second, can I just say how overwhelmingly impressed I am with the care she has received. Not with her PCP, that’s another story, but her oncologist, the hospitalist (who I may or may not have called Doogie), the cardiologist, the nurses. Especially the nurses. I kid you not, I called them 3-4 times a day when I had to go back to my job for a couple of days and there was one who would spend 20 + minutes on the phone with me talking about whether Mom had a good day, or what she ate, what the doctors said, what to expect with hospice, what to expect with End of Life planning, etc. She would do this, despite the fact she had other patients and people who needed her and she answered me in the most forthright manner, which is so relieving. I understand that medical professionals can give exact dates or times, but sometimes hearing, “No, she’s not responding and if she chooses hospice, I don’t think she will linger,” is oddly reassuring.
Third, hospice. Some of the most fantastic people ever. They CHOOSE to deal with they dying. And it’s beautiful, and personal, and absolutely wonderful how much they care. I got over my crying jag a few nights ago with the roomies and a couple of bottles of wine, but just thinking about how great hospice has been does kind of make me a little teary.
So dears, hug the ones you love, would you? ❤