I think I prefer the single life/An ode to CraigsList

Soooo…I maybe met a guy and he’s super into me. In fact, I’m pretty sure that when I jokingly proposed to him (What?!? He used Firefly pick up lines, though not quite this good) he took me seriously. Like talked about our honeymoon seriously. Yeah I should have run, but he was nice, and dammit, I thought I was tired of being alone. And he is really nice, but I don’t know if I’m feeling it. He’s honestly very, very clingy and I like to do my own thing on my own schedule. I don’t know, maybe I’m nitpicking because I would prefer to be alone and writing a blog? But there have been several guys that I’ve met where we’ve had instant chemistry- even talking. To the point I wanted to talk to them all night and I’m just not there right now. EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE ALL THE THINGS IN COMMON!!!! I mostly was just annoyed and wanted to listen to my DnD podcast. Fuck bubbles kids, I should be into this guy, he brought me goddamn flowers! But the longer it is since we hung out the more I’m ok with not really being super involved. I mean, I’ll go out with him again, and also with other people. Because there is another guy.

Guy number 2 is also into me, on a far more casual level, and I him. But he is also seeing several other ladies, and I’m cool with that. Super cool with it actually. I get to hang out with him, but also have me time, which I adore. But sometimes I wish he were more available. I think my hormones have gotten all fucked up since I bought a house and now I’m going through some weird PMS/menopause/lady issue thing.

Let’s talk about how I bought a house like a mother fucking adult instead, because that is the coolest thing EVAR!!! I’ve been nesting super hard, and in fact, am going to buy a kitchen table tomorrow. A KITCHEN TABLE. For my kitchen. Which is big enough for a table. This is huge (pun totally intended). My old kitchen barely held 3 people and had, literally (proper usage, I promise), 1 foot of usable counter space. BAKING BREAD WAS SO HARD. So goddamn hard. I am also making this purchase from a rando on CraigsList so I made the following thing happen:

I, singleinacollegetown, being of sound mind and body, would like the following arrangements made for Bella Dog Butt-Face  and Dead Mom, formerly D—– T—–, upon the occasion of my untimely demise whilst meeting with a rando off CraigsList (CL) to purchase a kitchen table.

 

  1. If I am to perish by any manner during my CL adventure, Dead Mom will be divided equally between K— T—-, B—– L—, and T—- D—–. Basements are acceptable places to store her.
  2. If the CL rando kills me and wears my skin as a coat, Bella Dog Butt-Face will take up permanent residence with one K— T—–.
  3. Upon the occasion of my death, without being skinned by the CL rando, Bella Dog Butt-Face will move with one B—— L—.
  4. In the case that the CL rando kills me and uses my skin for a lampshade, Bella Dog Butt-Face should go to the custody of one Red.

Well the next logical thing was to have this notarized, which I did and a copy now resides with my roommate. Heh. But it’s a good idea to make plans, JIC. Or you know, meet in public, which is what will probably happen, but that doesn’t mean skinning won’t happen. Or something.

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